"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears" ~Nelson Mandela

Category: Coaching

True Belonging


What is true belonging?

I spent most of my pre-40 life looking for a place to belong – a community, friends-for-life, people who wouldn’t move, or leave, or disappoint, or disapprove; that wasn’t based on my attendance or a system of belief, my appearance, my ability, my loyalty, or my ______________ fill in the blank.
Somewhere, Someone(s) who felt safe.

Until I realized that this place, these people do not exist. And not because there aren’t beautiful people out there.
But truly, the only place or person I can truly belong to, is me.

“Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness — an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.” ~Brene Brown

Whoah. Backup Brene. This is some scary stuff.

But that last bit, the place of true belonging – the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.
That’s what I am after. That’s a journey (scary, uncertain, and sometimes wild) worth embarking on.
But, THIS is where the Magic happens.

If you read my story, you may remember the part where I mentioned that I had lost my song, quite literally. I had come to a place where I was so crippled by fear, that I could no longer use my voice. So, when I speak of belonging, it is my greatest honor to hold space for those who are willing to face the fears and challenges to truly belong to themselves, and rediscover their song.


Searching? Hoping? Knowing there has to be more?

I’m here. Let’s chat.

What if there was a place for you? 
Are you looking for deeper connection? A circle of women who truly listen, a time for every woman to be seen and heard.
Not that an occasional dance-party or happy hour with friends isn’t a hoot, but what if there was a place for you?

Contact me for more information on our Women Empowerment Circles.

My Strengths Story

I don’t know about you, but I often make up stories about myself, and as a friend and mentor recently said about her stories, “I rarely come out on top”. The stories have often had a similar theme of not being worthy or valued, and that I have nothing important to say.
But in recent years, I have chosen to re-write those stories, and as a result, I am beginning to see a different person in the mirror.

One of the tools I have become incredibly fond of is the Clifton Strengths assessment. However, when I first got my results, I was not impressed – there may even have been some cursing when a friend asked me what my #1 strength was. I thought it was stupid, and didn’t describe me at all.
Then I had a chance to take a deeper look at my complete talent profile — all 34 CliftonStrengths themes, and realized I was defining them with the lens of those old stories. The more I studied and uncovered the true meaning of these talents, I discovered the potential and truth about who I am and what I have to offer.

I hired my favorite strengths coach, Eddie Villa, and as we uncovered the truth, I laughed, and I cried, and I discovered how to live my life, and do my work, in a way that honors my desires, and my authentic self.
I realized that I don’t have to compare myself to others who do similar work, and as a matter of fact, because of my bottom strengths (that’s another post for another day), it’s detrimental for me to do so.
When I stay in my top strengths, they tell a beautiful story of me, my desires, and how I excel at helping others.

My top strengths, and the story they tell: 

Harmony – The salt and pepper for every meal – I can see both sides, and seek to find common ground, as a way to build relationships. I find the lily pad we can all jump to.

Individualization – The opposite of autopilot – I bring a fresh and relevant perspective. I am keenly observant of other people’s strengths, and draw out the best in each person. I am present, and create safe spaces for others to feel uniquely seen and heard.

Responsibility – I am loyal and dependable – I keep my promises and honor my commitments. Quality is one of my top priorities.

Learner – I am naturally curious, and a catalyst for change. Although new rules, skills or circumstances might intimidate others, my willingness to absorb new and different factors can calm their fears. I continually strive to better myself, and love sharing what I’ve learned with others. 

Arranger – I am effectively flexible, while being the anchor that steadies the ship. I have a natural ability to orchestrate people and resources, and am best in dynamic situations. 

Restorative – I enjoy problem-solving. I am able to identify potential obstacles, and am valuable in times of difficulty and crisis. 

Developer – I recognize and cultivate the raw potential in others.  I celebrate small signs of progress and my encouragement helps others learn, grow and improve. 

Communication – I love a deep, juicy, conversation. And, I believe stories highlight important messages. I am aware that my words are not always enough to motivate others, and take time to listen and pay attention to what others are saying, and not saying, to help make meaningful connections.  

Adaptability – I’m best when I go with the flow, and stay in the present moment. I can quickly adjust to changing or unexpected circumstances that upset or intimidate others. I steady the ship, and am the calm in the chaos.

Connectedness – I believe there are few coincidences, and we are all connected. I build bridges, and help others find hope and meaning by identifying their place in the world around them, and bring a sense of comfort and stability in the face of uncertainty. 

With this new lens, I can see incredible value, and I obviously have plenty to say — not only to the woman I see in the mirror, but to share with others who also need to re-write their stories.

Do you relate to any of these?
What are your top strengths?
What is the beautiful story they tell about you?
Want to find out together?
Schedule a free Discovery Call.

#strengths #strengthsfinder #cliftonstrengths #coaching #strengths #transformation #transformationalcoach

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